emergency

My ER rotation ends this week. Whew!

Last week, we admitted a baby who was born with his guts out, no sac protecting his innards. The baby was just two hours old, born at home and was transported from the province. The doctors call it gastrochysis. Sadly, he was only able to live for 14 hours, a mere 3 hours after he was endorsed to the surgical icu.

I've learned to protect myself from feeling too much while working in the ER. I have to distance myself from my patients (and sometimes my preceptors/staff). It takes practice to be calm and controlled when deep inside you want to scream and cry.

Once, when reading the patient history of a psyche patient, I was alarmed with our similarities. Same age, same sleeping patterns, also a professional. Problem was, the patient thought his colleagues were spies. The trigger? No support system while working in manila.

I was always afraid of flying over the cuckoo's nest. There were times I feel sorry for myself and my life but I always manage to snap out of it. I don't want people to say "Kanugon sa iya" when i flip *knock on wood*.


-----------
For the past few weeks, i was always anxious an hour before starting duty. I procastinate, testing time limits before actually getting ready for work. All this pro bono stress for what? Experience. Gah!

There are close to 200 nurse volunteers working at the hospital. Vacant slots available for staff nurses? About 3% of that number. And now DOLE wants nurses to work 2 years here in the Philippines before going abroad. Pssh!

------------

Why did i become a nurse? Initially, being a nurse was a ticket for a green card. Now, whenever I see my patients smiling and recovering, i have my answer.